Color Coded Discipline

Hi!!  

I hope you all are enjoying this awesome fall weather as much as the kiddos and I are.  It's allowed us to enjoy outside activities without being overly hot or freezing cold.  We've gone apple picking, and tomorrow we have plans for a pumpkin picking field trip.  I am truly loving all the time we are spending together as a family.

With that said, allow me to keep it all the way real.  Sometimes, my kids are off the hook, and I'd rather not spend time with them at all.  I have been that woman in Target with a baby screaming, a 3 year old running wildly through the clothes, and a 4 year old having a melt down because he has been denied his latest request for something (ANYTHING) new.

How do I handle these situations?  Well, to begin with, I try to avoid these situations all together.   I know their triggers: tired, bored, or hungry (basically the same for any kid). I find that if my children are scheduled and fed, they are pretty good kids... actually very good.  When we go out, I try and remember to give them the "mommy talk".  Basically I break down my expectations, and consequences.  While home we have a routine (not so much a schedule) that they come to expect.  In the morning, Ace asks what we are doing for the day.  He's that textbook child who thrives on a routine.  I believe it makes him feel secure and safe, otherwise he can be a very worried child.  He reminds me of the book Wemberly Worried.  I can go into more details about our daily routine or plan in another post.

However, there are those times when for whatever reason, they act a mess, routine, "mommy talk" or not.  On one particular day about a year ago, Ace was having one of those days.  He was being a monster.  I thought I was going to loose my mind.  Screaming, yelling, slamming doors.  It was me vs. my (at the time) 3 year old.  Once the battle was over, and we were both calm, I knew something had to change.  I mean I was a teacher in an urban area, with often over 25 kids to keep in line.  How come I couldn't keep my own child in order.

You know the phrase "necessity is the mother of invention".  Well, I didn't invent anything, but I did tweek a system that I used in my classroom, and our color coded discipline system was born.  It is very simple.  I glued blocks of craft foam to a piece of white paper leaving about 2 or 3 inches of white on the top.  I fold over the top to create a place to slide a ribbon through and voila done.  I hung it with a Command Strip in our Kitchen Art Center.  I wanted it to be very visual.

How do I use this?  

Well, each child has a clothespin.  Their names are written on them with a Sharpie.  For the picture I flipped them so their names don't show.  I only have one for Ace, and Bear now, but at some point when he's old enough I'll add a clothespin for CJ.  In the morning the clothespins start at the top in dark green.  Everyday is new and they can start fresh each day.  I want to teach them that bad days happen, but we must move on and make the next day better.  The color chart is as follows:

Dark Green = Perfect Day: Dessert (Usually pudding, fruit, or fruit snacks), iPad or phone time before bath, plus a magnet on responsibility chart for Ace.  Ace has a Melissa and Doug Magnetic Responsibility Chart, it comes with lots of pre-written responsibilities and also a few blank, so you can write your own.  I added a good listening responsibility.  If he gets 7 magnets (sunday through saturday), he is rewarded with a treat of his choice (with in reason). 

Light Green = Pretty good day: Dessert, iPad or phone time before bath, no magnet

Yellow = Okay Day: Dessert, no iPad or phone

Orange = Needs Improvement Day: No Dessert, No electronics

Red = Very bad, No good, Horrible day: Straight to bed after dinner, no dessert, no bath, no book, Do not pass go, do not collect $200 (a little Monopoly humor.. lol).

We have only ever had a Red day once, and rarely orange.  Every child tests the limits sometimes.

How do they move up and down the chart?

  When the boys get time-out, they move down from one color to the next.  On most days they stay in the green (dark or light).  I have on occasion, moved a clothespin back up a space.  This only happens for exceptional unsolicited behavior or actions.  For example I once caught Ace cleaning the playroom and getting Bear to help.  I didn't ask him to.  He was truly just being a good kid.  On the other hand there have been times he is in yellow, and will say "mommy, look, I just picked up my Legos.  Can you move me back up?"  Nope, doesn't work like that.  

I like this system because it allows me to have a concrete reference for their behavior.  My husband always asks how the boys were when he gets home from work.  Sometimes, by that time I am so tired, and brain fried, I don't remember the morning tantrum.  Simply seeing that someone's clothespin is in light green helps me to remember.  It's also perfect for small children, as it is a visual representation of their behavior.  

We've been using this system for about a year and it works for us.  What discipline systems (if any) do you use in your home?

Organized Diaper Bag

I find the difference between my packing the diaper bag as a first time mother, and now as a third timer, hysterical.  I used to take everything but the kitchen sink.  I was so worried that I'd need something while we were out and it would essentially make our lives miserable for that (very small) period of time.
I've narrowed down what I typically used to bring to just the essentials. Here's my list of what I try to have in my diaper bag at all times.

Baby Needs:
Diapers (about 1 per hour you"ll be out) Although I usually just bring three.
Mini Wipes Case of course
Diaper Cream
A Changing Pad
A burp cloth
A large receiving blanket that usually doubles as a burp cloth, or a cover for feeding
An extra outfit - Sleep & Play, undershirt ( be sure to change it out as baby grows or seasons change
Extra Bib
A hat and baby mittens

Mommy Needs:
Wallet and car key
Comb
Lip gloss
Sometimes an eyeliner
The baby record books for the doctor
Receipt and Coupon holder
Breast Pads
Antibacterial wipes and gel

The Extras:
Boogie Wipes (mostly for Munchkin and Bear)
A baggie filled with mini packets of cleaner, and stain remover wipes

This is everything on the list, plus Munchkin and CJ.

 I know the list seems pretty long, but it all fits neatly in my diaper bag.  When I was searching for a diaper bag while pregnant with the Munchkin, I had one thing on my mind.  CUTE!! I wanted it to be baby cute, so I chose one that was brown and turquoise with a cute little teddy bear. Blah Blah Blah.  It had only one large pocket which basically meant it had zero organization.  Everything was just in there.

I chose this diaper bag for its function and basic style.

Here it is empty, just waiting to be filled with all its goodies.

Here's How I organize my bag.

First, my stuff.  I usually don't take my own separate bag if were going out for a short trip.  This all fits neatly in the zippered pocket in the front.

 Next I fill the two snap pockets in the front of the bag.  One gets the goodies like Boogie wipes (which smell delightful if I may add).  In the other, I place the hat and mittens.

                           

Onto the inside.  In the main space I add the burp cloth and Receiving blanket.  I have a snuggle thing (can't think of the real name) over the baby's car seat, which eliminates the need for a heavy winter blanket.

The two empty back pockets get diaper cream, lotion, and diapers.  I usually bring between 2-4 diapers, since he gets changed right before we leave to go anywhere.

 There is another pocket with elastic in the front (see, lots of pockets = awesome organizing), this is where I keep the extra outfit and bib.

The back open pocket gets the pad and wipes.

There are two side pockets on the outside of this bag.  One is used for antibacterial wipes. I like it here, because it gives me easy access.  My antibacterial gel is a mini one that usually clips onto one of the straps.  The other pocket is currently not being used, but at some point a water bottle or sippy cup will go in there.  I also have a little mini pacifier holder, though It's kind of pointless since CJ doesn't care much for them.

Sometimes depending on where we are going I may bring a toy or throw some extra snacks for the big boys.

All packed up and ready to go!

Family Valentine's Day

Long ago when my hubby and I were just a pair, the romance between hubby and I was never ending (mostly because I arranged it that way).  On special occasions.. birthday's, anniversaries, and V-day.. I'd do it up... and inexpensively.  I'd rush home from work and prepare some special dinner, wine, and candles were a must.  I'd spend hours making the perfect playlist, dim lights, some type of chocolate covered fruit, and of course there'd be a special trip to Victoria's Secret.  Alas... those special days don't happen as frequently.  

Do I mind? 

NO! 

I've traded those evenings for fun family dinners, snuggles in bed with all 3 of my loves, and my playlist now includes The Wiggles.  Yes my hubs and I do get away sometimes but our life and relationship have evolved and I love how it's grown.  Last, year was the first time I consciously planned and executed a Family Valentine's Day Dinner.  This year I will do the same.  Valentine's Day is a special day for emphasizing your love for your loved ones, why shouldn't the kiddos be involved?!?

This year Munchkin is older and will help me prepare for our special day.  We will make heart decorations, bake red velvet brownies (and use cookie cutters to make them into hearts).  We will put on our nicest outfits (no yoga pants for mommy), we'll brake out the sparkling cider and toast to the love we all share.  If you work outside the home, how about a family dinner out 

(yes , even on a week night... gasp!!)

Whats on the menu?  Now typically I am opposed to preparing 2 dinners.  My kids eat what I make, or they wait until the next meal (unless my softy of a husband makes them something else... smh).  However, on special occasions I make exceptions.  My Husband and I will dine on Sicilian shrimp scampi (Olive Garden style) for an appetizer, and salmon with kale and garlic smashed potatoes for dinner.  The kiddos will have heart shaped pizza.  For dessert we will all enjoy a large cup (or sippy cup) of milk and a heart shaped red velvet brownie.  If I can get to the store I may even splurge on some fun V-day plates and placemats.

Of course when the kids go to bed (and yes they will be in bed by 8 and asleep by 8:30) the hubs and I will enjoy some grown up time (I never said I wasn't taking a trip to Victoria's Secret... blushes).  

This year I encourage everyone to include the kiddos in this special night.  If your a stickler get a babysitter and go out on Saturday... that's what we're doing ;)

Healthy Snack Chart

See that.  That is one step towards eating healthier in our home.  I am a snacker, I could eat all day long... seriously I could.  Some times I do.  I'm the type that opens to fridge or pantry and stands there thinking of what to eat.  Then I come up with some unhealthy combination of things.  So I came up with this chart to put in our pantry.  I know that these foods are in my home (most of the time), I just think of this as a reminder.  Hopefully it will help keep me focused on healthy snacking.  I added the calorie count because my hubby likes to know that kind of stuff (he's a numbers guy).  I made two different sections (us and them) because the boys' don't typically eat the same things we do and vice versa.  Also for some reason, on the rare occassion I am away with out the boys, my husband still calls me to ask what he should feed them... smh.  Anyway, I'll let you know how this is working out for us.  

Are you a snacker?, if so what healthy tips do you have?

Teething Troubles!!!

Little Bear is teething, and he's teething hard.  Two nights ago my poor baby was miserable, and for those of you who don't know...  miserable baby = miserable mommy.  It breaks my heart to see him so upset. It's also frustrating to have tried so many different strategies and your baby is still not himself. Add in wee hours of the morning and it's worse.

I've  been up researching everything from symptoms of teething to ways to sooth him.  I figured I could put my research to good use and share some of the things I've found.  Please take all with a grain of salt. I'm not a doctor nor do I claim to be.  But here are some things I've found.

Symptoms:

Dooling
rash on cheeks/chin (usually from the drool)
gum swelling/ sensitivity
biting and chewing
refusing to eat
sleep problems
irritability
coughing
other cold like symptoms
pulling at ears
Low grade fever
Diarrhea

I think it's important to point out that not all of these symptoms have been proven to be linked to teething... But many of you will agree that they are.

My first Munchkin had a fever, drool, and diarrea (TMI?) Little Bear is going through it with drool, chewing, refusing to eat, irritably, coughing, fever, and he's pulling at his ears, and trouble sleeping.    My poor baby. Some days/ nights are worse than others. The following are some strategies I've found online, some I've tried, some I haven't.

Cold bottles
Teething rings/toys
Teething gel
Infant pain relief drops
Cold or frozen washcloth let baby chew on it
There is always the handy finger (one of my son's favorite)
Cut a banana into strips and freeze, let baby chew
There's always infant pain relief... Tylenol or motrin (or similar)
Some more natural remedies include teething tablets from Hyland or Borion
Formula frozen like an ice pop
Unfinished wooden toys

With everything, common sense plays a big role... Be sure you monitor baby closely, and be very careful about choking hazards.

You can find some more useful tips here and here

With boy number one I only used a few teething toys. As I mentioned before he didn't teeth very hard. With boy number two, I've tried cold bottles, cold teething toys (I think he likes this best), oragel(This didn't really work so great so I've stopped using it), my finger, infant acetaminophen drops for fever and pain. At night the infant drops worked well for me, Not everyone is into medicine but if it makes my baby feel better, I'm all about it! He also likes to chew on the cold washcloth... He didn't like holding the frozen one.

Fresh from the fridge!

The very first night I couldn't console Little Bear, I didn't realize his teeth were bothering him. I tried nursing, then a bottle, walking, rocking, and even just patting on the back and nothing worked. When I finally got him to sleep he shortly woke up again crying. By the end of the night we were both in tears and I had snapped at my husband.

The next night I was prepared with some Pepperidge Farm cookies (hey shouldn't I be rewarded for staying up all night?), along with infant drops, and cold teethers waiting.  Fortunately for both of us he had a much better night, and only woke a few times and was easily soothed back to sleep.

At this point both bottom teeth have poked through so I think the worse is over.  I hear that each new set of teeth come in easier... lets hope so.